Dealing with ANGER!

By Amanda Pasciucco, MFT at Therapy by Amanda, LLC

Some people think that it is a good idea to express your anger and “let it out” instead of keeping it in and causing you stress. Current research actually states that getting extremely angry is just as damaging to your blood pressure, heart, and immune system as keeping the anger inside. When you constantly unleash your anger, you are not relieving the angry feelings. It is actually proven that the more anger you let out, the angrier you will get. Even thinking about being angry actually can be bad for your heart!

The tip this week is learning to control anger so that you become angry less often. Don’t bottle up what you are feeling; rather, learn to express what is making you angry to the appropriate person in a calm yet assertive tone.

What to look for. Take time to notice that certain people and activities trigger your anger. Be aware of this instead of subconsciously letting these things repetitively get to you and cause you to stir negative emotions. When you are calm, try to find the reason that certain things are triggering you, because it is unlikely that you will be able to figure it out while you are upset.

Did you know that anger makes you less intelligent? Think back to the last time you got really angry. You probably did or said something that you later regretted because you were not consciously thinking when you acted out in anger. When we are angry, we do not think with our whole brains, and we disconnect the neurological pathways to rationality. We begin to think in extremes by using words like “always” or “never.” An angry mind can become completely disillusioned by the situation that is actually occurring.

Why do people like getting angry? Anger is exciting and causes adrenaline to pump through the body. When we get angry, people begin to give us attention and then we begin to feel less self-conscious. The angrier you get, the more likely people are to give in to your demands. Unfortunately for the person who is quick to anger, the negative health side effects listed above are more concerning than getting what you want within the moment.
Remember, practice your breathing. Repeat to yourself that you are not going to let this small thing affect your health. Breathe in and breathe out. Make sure you exhale longer than you inhale! Practicing this technique when you are calm can help you to appropriately express yourself when something causes you anger.

Amanda Pasciucco, M.A. MFT, is an individual, couple, and family therapist with a private practice in Wilton, Connecticut. Currently, she is working on publishing her first book. For more information, you can visit her website at www.therapybyamanda.com or follow her on twitter @TherapyByAmanda.