Stopping Chronic Complaining!

By Amanda Pasciucco, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I am witnessing a trend that I would like to discuss. Numerous people have been coming to me in my personal life with their complaints and problems, and when they find the solutions, instead of solving them, they just keep complaining. Nothing is more frustrating than people who are negative, complain, and refuse to stand up for themselves to change the current pattern of their lives.

In the beginning, I would sit and listen. I would offer my services to listen or give them my perspective on the issue. After months of realizing people are complaining about the same issue and not doing anything about it, I have finally decided I am not going to use my time to enable constant complaining.

I feel blessed to have been raised in a family where complaining without action towards a solution was unacceptable. I have yet to meet anyone whose constant complaining has done anything positive to resolve the situation. I realize that having bitterness and aggravation towards life problems actually never gets anything done.

If someone tries to talk to you about his or her problems but refuse to make any changes, then you should refuse to listen to their complaining. It takes too much mental energy to try helping people who are not willing to help themselves.

If you have friends, co-workers, or family like this, it is time to stop the pattern. You must recognize that people who are chronic complainers are not going to take your advice, because they are stuck in the pattern of complaining. Let these people deal with their own stress and refuse to take it on as part of your life. You will be a much happier person if you keep yourself out of that dynamic.

About the author: Amanda Pasciucco is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who believes that physical, emotional, and environmental wellness all factor into one's mental health. Amanda is committed to providing quality mental health services. It is her overall goal to enhance the quality of life for individuals, couples, and families. By obtaining an assessment of your emotional, physical, spiritual, and life experience, Amanda can help you obtain the necessary tools you need to accomplish your treatment goals. She makes every effort to understand all aspects of one's life in order to deliver highly personalized treatment that maximizes your success.