Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Appreciate the Strengths in Your Relationship

By Amanda Pasciucco, Marriage and Family Therapist
Do you ever notice that when you get into a fight with your partner, you just focus on the negatives? Couples usually “catastophize” – make the worst of – during their arguments. They never get out of the argument because they end up returning to the problem they have with their partner.
Stop falling further and further into the fight. Instead of trying to focus on the problem within the relationship, focus on what you enjoy about your partner. Realize your partner’s strengths, and this will propel you to get over the current conflict you are having. For example, if you are upset at your partner for not communicating with you, instead of repetitively discussing the negative, try to focus on what you enjoy within your partnership. Couples need to remember why they are with each other and not why they are arguing.
Think about your current partnership. It’s easy to recall the negative, but remember the strengths! If it weren’t for the strengths, you would not be together to begin with. Remember, no partnership is perfect.
This week, notice the strengths in your relationship and appreciate them. The next time you find yourself in a conflict, recall these strengths to get out of the fight.

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