By Amanda Pasciucco, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Therapy by Amanda, LLC
Due to the violence that many children and families witnessed on December 14, 2012, there may be many symptoms that arise. I have been asked by many people what parents can do to help their children at this time. The most important thing is to be with one another and get support from relatives and friends.
No matter what the media states, no one can say how long it will take to recover from this incident. Be aware that there may be a need for mental health services at this time. All children will respond in different ways. Do not be surprised to see acting out behaviors or see children that go back to their usual routines.
Side effects you may notice:
- Fear of being alone
- Anxiety and depression
- Inability to concentrate
- Grief and hopelessness
- Changes in sleep patterns
- Obsession over the shooting
- Sensitivity to sounds
What you can do to help your children:
Spend time with your child. Remain open and non-defensive if they ask questions repetitively about the shooting and about their safety. If they need you to stay in their bed with them while they try to sleep, allow this behavior for a brief period of time. If they do not want to talk about it, do not force them to.
Help children feel safe. Make a safety plan with them. Find safe places to hide, ways to escape rooms, and places where they agree to meet you outside the home in case of an emergency. Don't break your rules.
Maintain structure in the home. Do not forget children's chores and curfews. Use additional check-ins with children for the next few weeks.
Try not to watch the news. Listening to the media coverage repetitively will keep the trauma alive and make children relive the horrific experience that they witnessed. Make sure you monitor what they are accessing about the incident on the television, internet, and phone.
Notice changes in behavior. You may notice more anger, yelling, and crying. Realize that this is normal behavior. If children start to act differently, address this with them. Let them know you are there to listen and help them.
If necessary, seek professional help. Many organizations are doing crisis counseling at this time. My practice is currently open for free crisis counseling for those affected by this tragedy. Please do not hesitate to email me at therapybyamanda@gmail.com .
